i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
