I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
