i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He passed out mid-signature
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
