Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize