We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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