This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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