You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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