i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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