Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
