I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
