i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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