Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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