Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
