This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
