Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
