what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize