Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it glows. i had to have it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize