Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
