Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Randomize
