I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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