Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
