is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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