why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
