Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
please come you make the beer taste better
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
