I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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