I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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