the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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