i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
