Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
