how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
