no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
