I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
