I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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