Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
