my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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