i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
