please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
