I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
