Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
