Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
