I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
