It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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