Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
