I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
