Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
