I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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