The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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