You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
