You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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