She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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