put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
