can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
