CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You ruined the universe
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
