I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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