I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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