i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
