I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
