I need help removing her.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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