I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
