I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize