im drinking this country out of the recession.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
