Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
