just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Enjoy the penises
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
