its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
