Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
